Constructive Nerves

Why does life have to be so tense at times? What purpose does it serve? Why is this feeling so persistent? These feelings manifest themselves in so many ways throughout the course of the days, weeks, and months. They can be positive and negative sometimes at the same time. Such pull between polar opposites can leave feelings of strain and/ or exhilaration.

Today for example, someone came up to me in a panic saying, Amos, I need something and I need it now. Can you help me? I did not hesitate. I said sure I can help. Once the task was accepted, a feeling of exhilaration came over me. I immediately started asking the questions in my head. Can I do it? Can I find the missing item in time? It was a challenge, a puzzle to be solved.

On the other hand, challenges at work seem to bring on another set of nerves. The request is pretty much the same, and the process usually has a similar beginning. Amos, can you help me? The same questions come up as well. Can I do it? Can I solve the problem? Can I find the missing piece of the puzzle? However, the feelings are definitely not the same. My stomach will tie in a knot, and a sudden feeling of pressure will come over me. The feeling is definitely not constructive.

Don't get me wrong, the feeling of exhilaration is still present. I still want to find the missing piece. These detractor emotions just seem to take away from the process. Maybe it is the newness of the job? Maybe it is the feeling of not being in total control of the situation? The root cause is certainly not clear.

I do know a new avenue to express the non constructive anxiousness must be found. It must be turned into a feeling of proactive problem solving. I need to ask more questions if I do not understand. I need to seek help and not try to solve the problem alone. I already practice these things, but they must be done more readily without wasting time. The last thing above all else, I must not spin my wheels. I must do.